I was creatively inspired to write a poetic story.
This relates to my life – which has not been all glory.
Saying all has been perfect would be far from true.
Writing straight from the heart is what feels right to do.
My struggles, challenges and suffering are for all to see,
That I am not perfect, nor will I ever be.
My mind drove me nuts – overpowering with its might.
However, after my darkest times, I eventually saw the light.
With tons of energy, initiating ALL seemed a great plan,
Including every relationship I wanted with a man
Two marriages, one divorce – bonds not full of ease
A controlling perfectionist, yet constantly trying to please
Years seeking my purpose – desiring to ‘sing my song’
Numerous career changes; always wanting to belong
Proving I was an employee they shouldn’t lose
A workaholic – it’s my form of booze
Feeling unworthy, beating myself up
Initiating jobs, trying to win the prize cup
I felt lost and powerless for so many years.
Deeply affected by others; I had so many fears.
Frustration and resistance – things didn’t go as planned.
A slave to my mind – didn’t realize I could take a stand.
Finishing everything – that’s so natural to me
Exhausted, run down – yet, I could not flee.
Tried hard to prove myself and what I knew,
Felt pressured to solve others’ questions too
Burned out doing things I didn’t want to do
Many times I felt so depressed and blue.
So affected by others, especially in a crowded place
Forgot how good I always feel in my own space
Yearning for the new, rushing to finish the current thing
Ignoring my journey – what will be my next zing?
Lost soul on a 15-year spiritual path – how hard will this be?
Books, events, gurus all said, “To improve, follow me!”
Brief effects, slight improvements, none ever-lasting
We’re unique – why not focus on doing our own thing?
Life struggles in 2014 caused me to get stressed.
Caught in negative thoughts – I got depressed.
Suffering – questioning which route to take
Never-ending battle, well-being at stake
Others noticed I needed help – it was plain to see.
Human Design was then recommended to me.
Tried many things before, not much success
Perhaps this one could help me best?
Never has something resonated like this
Differentiation – a path I didn’t want to miss
Being authentic, connecting with my truth inside
It’s definitely been a more relaxing ride.
Slower pace – my body enjoys the needed break.
Awareness, respect, truth – all critical to be awake
Enough energy to accomplish all that I correctly choose
Confidence in decision-making process – this, I can’t lose.
My decisions are not influenced by others, or my mind
Actively waiting, not initiating – life of a different kind
Trusting in this process – nothing else can compare
Boundaries are critical for well-being and self-care.
An insane workaholic – probably like none you’ve met
A deep rooted issue – I haven’t mastered this yet.
Could be tied to emotions and avoiding that difficult place
Many years of conditioning – “Put on your happy face!”
My emotions were extremely amplified for my mom
Not sure, but negative ones probably felt like a bomb!
Learning this in recent years really helped me see,
All of us can affect each other – how intense it can be!
This awareness helped more than I can possibly say,
Letting go of resentment held tightly along the way
Understanding the power of energy has been key
No longer taking all that happens personally
Solo creative outlets help during my melancholic mood
Don’t need to explain, or find a reason – I’m not being rude.
Learning to accept the ‘blah’ feelings – what a true lifesaver!
Grateful for living this way, health is crucial – I cannot waver.
Mind stopped controlling my life and others too
Waiting – the most difficult thing I learned to do
Resistance – a signpost that I’m not connected within
Trusting and following my decisions – the way I win
Marriage growth – intense arguments have departed
Increased awareness and respect, being less guarded
Work in progress, appreciating differences, having fun
Healthier relationship – conditioning being undone
Pressure to prove that I’m social no longer exists.
I steer clear of anything that my body resists.
Tolerate others’ energy in a crowded city or mall,
Not overwhelmed, exhausted, or up against a wall
Aware of my individuality, and how I was born to be
No attachment to purpose – feels good to wait and see
I understand how others’ energy can affect me, or not
Deep respect for myself, and others – it’s helping a lot!
Feel amazingly fulfilled pursuing that which I choose
Freedom from fears that I am unworthy, or might lose
I no longer feel pressure to initiate or conform.
Living this way has definitely helped me transform.
Strengths and challenges – different from others I know
All ‘wired’ uniquely – understanding this helped me grow
Disengaged from thoughts – no more suffering and pain
Power over my mind has been a tremendous gain.
My mom’s loss, dad’s COVID illness, and my job furlough,
Within 6 months – an enormous amount of stress to tow
Without Human Design, I would have lost my mind,
Tangled in a harsh ‘thought party’ with no way to unwind
Present to each situation as it took place
In the moment – no matter how difficult to face
Despite the emotional intensity, I connected with peace.
More old ways of living continue to cease.
A lifelong cheerleader – my mom – wanting me to succeed
“Let go of grief – focus on fulfilling your special deed.”
I hear those whispers, along with, “You’ll never know unless you try!”
Inspiration to trust my journey – releasing how, when or why
Thank you for reading this really long story about me.
It’s the motivation – how ‘Being Authentic Now’ came to be.
An extraordinary process for me, and many others around
Are you ready for a life-lasting change so incredibly profound?
This poem is dedicated to my mom. She loved to read. She reviewed and edited my papers over the years, and was a lifesaver when it came to my 80-page thesis. All of her support and encouragement inspired me to really appreciate and enjoy writing. Thanks a million, Mom!